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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27163066">In The Night Air</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jonquille/pseuds/Jonquille'>Jonquille</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Youkai Ningen Bem (TV 2011), 妖怪人間ベム | Youkai Ningen Bem | Humanoid Monster Bem</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 00:21:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,122</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27163066</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jonquille/pseuds/Jonquille</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Natsume gets a nocturnal visit from a friend he hasn't seen in a long time.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bem/Natsume Akinori</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>In The Night Air</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The crisp, clear night air hit Natsume’s face as soon as he slid the doors open and stepped out onto the small terrace of his new studio flat. Taking a deep breath in, he closed his eyes and listened to the quiet rustling of the autumn leaves as they floated, carried out by soft gusts of wind. He set his cold can of beer on the ground and looked around for a small stool, his hand wiping the remaining drops of rain off its surface. The band-aid on his forehead kept pulling at the skin, but he resisted touching it; just a simple flesh wound, the doctors had said, but he should keep it bandaged for at least another day. Already in his mid 40s, Natsume had been doing dangerous work as a detective for a little over a couple of decades now, and he often found himself brushing shoulders with death. He ran clammy fingers through his wavy hair instead, and thought about justice, and fighting for what is right, and keeping promises he had made to people he cherished. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It had been a while since he was the victim of a violent assault at work. He had been warned about the dangers, but he decided to follow his intuition and go after the suspect by himself. He gasped in surprise when his head collided with the cold concrete, a knife flashing blindingly at his throat. His heart beats sped up as if impatient to grasp onto life, terrified of leaving so many things unfinished. Too many… The last thing he remembered before passing out was a loud noise and the knife diverting from its trajectory, causing a ghostly cut just above his eyebrow. When he recovered consciousness, co-workers were hovering worriedly above his head, and the suspect was sitting on the ground across from him, wrists cuffed, body inexplicably bruised. The side of his face felt damp and sticky with blood, but an ambulance was supposed to arrive at any moment. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you alright? Do you remember what happened?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Natsume looked up and blinked against the sudden brightness. The sounds of his surroundings were getting louder in his ears, and his body began to feel the aches of the altercation. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Bem-san,” he whispered shakily, head snapping to scrutinize his surroundings. He realized it was probably too late, but his eyes searched for invisible footprints and shadows, any indication of the </span>
  <em>
    <span>youkai</span>
  </em>
  <span>’s presence there. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He did not know whether the incident had been only a dream, or if he was still able to feel the blood pump in his vessels and to sit on his small terrace thanks to the intervention of the silver-haired creature. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The can of beer hissed under his fingers as he opened it and took a long, slow swig; the liquid felt like a cool caress slipping down his throat and it calmed his racing mind, if only for a minute. His eyes settled on the hazy moonlight above the trees, hiding behind heavy clouds. The neighborhood seemed enveloped in silence, but he welcomed it; in his field, privacy and quietness were privileges that he treasured. It had been a little over a year since he moved in by himself - after many years of a marriage that was challenged by tragedy and tribulations, he and Nahoko-san decided to part ways. There was no way to be gentle when telling the news to their daughter, but Yui-chan had been stronger than they expected; she allowed herself to cry, but she managed to pick herself up and announce that she didn’t want to leave her mother alone. He wouldn’t have wanted to take their daughter away from Nahoko anyway, not after what happened to Makoto. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Natsume got up on his feet and began pacing along the longitude of the balcony, his eyes examining the trees across from his building, branch by branch. Ears trying to pick up every muffled sound, heart jumping every time he thought he’d missed a shadow or the source of a noise. On the one hand, he knew that Bem, Bela and Belo had left the city years ago for fear of being recognized, but on the other hand, the incident at work had been identical to the many other times his life was saved by the </span>
  <em>
    <span>youkai.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He rubbed his face in frustration and searched inside the pockets of his coat, right hand retrieving a small bar of chocolate. He opened the wrapper with shaky fingers and pushed the candy inside his mouth, tongue soaking into the bittersweet taste. Memories of times long gone were spilling over, of similar rainy nights where he held his umbrella above the silver-haired </span>
  <em>
    <span>youkai</span>
  </em>
  <span>’s head and shared chocolate bars with him. Glimpses of tears glistening on soft cheeks that made the air knot in his throat. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He hadn’t even noticed when fresh drops of rain began to draw dark spots on his coat. His hand reached to press over the fabric, as if to check whether he had been transported to a place where memories could materialize. But he was still outside his flat, and there was no one there beside him. He took one final look around before bending over to pick up his can of beer and heading inside. The air was stuffy and he left the terrace doors open, discarding his coat and abandoning it on a nearby chair. He dropped on his small bed with a huff, exhaustion starting to creep up his muscles. It felt good to stretch his back along the mattress. He bended an arm under his pillow, resting his gaze over veiny shapes on the blue ceiling. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The next time he became conscious of his surroundings, he was confused and disoriented, not knowing how much time had lapsed. His eyelids were heavy and his sight was clouded by lashes laden with sleep. As he blinked the haziness away, his eyes slowly focused on an opaque shadow that was blocking the moonlight, almost akin to an eclipse. The soft drapes were dancing with each gust of wind, intertwining with parted legs. Natsume sat up in a rush of panic, his breath coming out in short gasps as the shadow in front of him took the shape of a human being. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry for startling you,” a deep, quiet voice filled the room. “I didn’t mean to.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Natsume got up on his feet, limbs tingling with anticipation. The human shape reached for the hat on its head, taking it off and offering a small bow. Glassy, circumspect eyes were staring right back at him. Natsume let out a relieved whimper, steps taking him closer. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Bem-san…” his voice was barely above a whisper, but his smile reached the corner of his eyes and the </span>
  <em>
    <span>youkai </span>
  </em>
  <span>eased his tense shoulders. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It has been a while.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>As Natsume’s eyes became more adjusted to the darkness, he could make out Bem’s features more clearly. Rough horns peeking out from underneath silver bangs, long lashes fanning out over pale cheeks, soft lips curling timidly under his searching gaze. Natsume stopped himself just before acting on the urge to touch the creature in front of him, just to make sure he was real. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I knew it,” he breathed out, as Bem gave him a questioning look. “You saved my life. You were there when I was attacked earlier today.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Bem’s eyes were diffident, but unequivocal. “I could not allow anything bad to happen to you.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Natsume huffed an incredulous laugh and scratched at the back of his head. “You always do that… you always - I never know how to repay -”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Natsume-san,” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Bem’s firm voice left the detective without further words, and he cleared his throat. Looking around, he began cleaning up the small table, gathering candy wrappers and unwashed coffee cups; anything to break  eye contact with the </span>
  <em>
    <span>youkai</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I must apologize for this mess,” he laughed, “I am as useless as expected, especially when left to my own devices.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Bem quietly followed each one of his moves. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Please sit down, would you perhaps like a cup of tea?” Natsume had finished arranging cups and plates in the sink and he looked up with a hopeful expression. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Bem was staring right back at him and he hadn’t made a move. “I… showed up unannounced because I wanted to make sure your condition was good, I wouldn’t want to disturb your recovery.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Natsume almost hit himself rushing to close the distance between them, and he placed a firm hand on Bem’s arm. “Not yet.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Bem looked up, unable to hide the surprise in his eyes. “Natsume-san?” he whispered insecurely. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Natsume unclasped his grip on the </span>
  <em>
    <span>youkai</span>
  </em>
  <span>’s arm and looked up into his eyes. He exhaled a nervous laugh. “I’ve been waiting for you for so long, I can’t let you go now.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Bem let out the breath he was holding and searched into Natsume’s gaze for clarification. “Waiting? Why? Did anything happen because of me?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Because </span>
  </em>
  <span>of you?” Natsume laughed and shook his head. “No, no. Please don’t assume the worst. I… well… the truth is that I’m not accustomed to being alone quite yet.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Bem furrowed his eyebrows. “Is there anything wrong with Nao-san and Yui-chan? Is there anything I can do to help?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“They’re fine, everyone is fine. It’s just that…” Natsume looked down with a wistful smile. “We decided that it would be best if we went our separate ways.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Whatever the </span>
  <em>
    <span>youkai</span>
  </em>
  <span> had been thinking of, this was the scenario that he least expected. “Oh,” he let out, failing to find a proper way to react to the news. His eyes wandered carefully over the detective’s face and he bowed his head very slightly. “I am sorry to hear that.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Natsume drew a breath in and hesitated. He could hear the escalating beat of his heart drumming heavily inside his ears, chest tightening as he gathered every bit of adrenaline he could to be able to spell his thoughts into a sentence. “The truth is that I met someone who changed my entire worldview.” Bem’s eyes peered up at him curiously, and the detective continued. “Without even realizing, it came to a point where I couldn’t think of anything else. Of </span>
  <em>
    <span>anyone</span>
  </em>
  <span> else. I was not the person I had known before - not anymore.” He ran his hand through his hair and huffed a humorless laugh. “I am irreparable after all, aren’t I.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Bem shook his head with conviction, deep lines cutting through his eyebrows. “I am not judging - I have no right to. Only Natsume-san knows what is best for your own life. I will always support you.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t understand,” the detective replied swiftly. “I should have been clearer… but it’s hard, with the way you’re staring at me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No, no,” Natsume almost shrieked in frustration with himself. “It’s you. Bem-san, it’s you,” his chest heaved with the relief of being liberated by the weight of carefully hidden words. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The eyes looking back at him were guarded, but hopeful. “I’m afraid I don’t understand,” Bem whispered, jaw clenching with every word. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Natsume’s throat strained with a heavy gulp and he raised a hesitating hand, fingertips tracing the </span>
  <em>
    <span>youkai</span>
  </em>
  <span>’s stiff chin. Bem let out a sharp gasp, his skin tingling warmly under the detective’s fluttery touch. His glance was urging the other man to say more, but Natsume was silently focused on his parted lips, thumb tracing their outline. “I didn’t think I was capable of abandoning myself to such profound feelings at this stage of my life,” he answered with a hoarse voice, gaze finally rising to meet Bem’s. “I can’t seem to get you out of my mind, but one word from you and I will never speak of this again.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Breath struggling to catch up with his heart beats, Bem’s panting became heavier under Natsume’s probing expression. “How… how is this possible,” his voice came out almost as a whine. “I’ve been taking comfort in the fact that Natsume-san is happy with his family. As long as Natsume-san is living a happy life, then everything is fine. I will be fine. I won’t be needed.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I need you,” the detective’s voice cut through the </span>
  <em>
    <span>youkai</span>
  </em>
  <span>’s train of thought. “I’ve been needing you ever since we met,” his other hand cupped the opposite side of the rigid jawline, “but it took me a while to realize it. I… I have never nurtured feelings for another man in my life.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Bem’s eyes softened, lower eyelids quivering under the weight of accumulating tears. Taking a deep breath in, he raised a tentative palm and pressed over the back of Natsume’s hand. “I’m not a human being… so I don’t know if I am a man. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>look </span>
  </em>
  <span>like a man, from a human being’s point of view, but the truth is that I don’t feel like a sex or another.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Human being or not - if it’s Bem-san, that’s all that matters,” Natsume assured him with a steady voice. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Bem’s tears flowed slowly along his cheekbones, accompanied by a long and shaky breath, and his lips curled into a relieved smile. Natsume stepped closer and pressed his forehead against the silver-haired </span>
  <em>
    <span>youkai</span>
  </em>
  <span>, the two of them breathing into the other’s scent. His hands softly turned Bem’s face to one side, and his lips began following the trace left by the teardrop, opening against his jawline and soothing the tension. He let one hand slip to the back of his neck and he tangled the other hand into his hair, fingers untying the knot and letting silver strands flow freely over his back. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Bem closed his eyes with a sigh and leaned into the detective’s comforting grasp. Natsume’s movements gradually became urgent, lips kissing and nibbling at the soft skin of Bem’s ear lobe, hands cupping his head as he let it fall back. Lips kept caressing the skin, crossing his neck to rest upon his chin. Bem lowered his head to stare into his eyes, enticing and almost daring. It was everything Natsume needed to meet his lips for the first time, slow and soothing, as if wanting to memorize their texture and hold it close to his heart. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He continued to sense hesitation and strain in the </span>
  <em>
    <span>youkai</span>
  </em>
  <span>’s demeanour, but the hands entwining at the back of his head assured him that it was merely because it was all very new to him. Natsume angled his head and deepened the kiss, his stomach prickling at the noise of Bem’s involuntary moan. His right hand untangled the loose scarf around the </span>
  <em>
    <span>youkai’</span>
  </em>
  <span>s neck, letting it fall soundlessly to the floor, as his left hand undid the button to the blazer. At the back of his mind, he worried about going too fast and making Bem uncomfortable, but he felt his back arching, chest almost brushing his own, and he allowed his hands to slide under the blazer and feel the muscles tense under his palms. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He broke the kiss and gave Bem a questioning look; the </span>
  <em>
    <span>youkai</span>
  </em>
  <span>’s eyes were clouded under heavy eyelashes, meeting the detective’s gaze very briefly before falling back to his lips. Natsume’s impatient moan was almost foreign to his own ears, but he paid no mind as he almost yanked the blazer off Bem’s shoulders, letting it fall next to the scarf. Their lips met again, this time with added resolution, and Natsume’s fingers were twisting at the hem of the </span>
  <em>
    <span>youkai</span>
  </em>
  <span>’s shirt, grabbing fistfuls of fabric and sliding upwards along the torso. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Bem’s hands were grabbing and scratching at his shoulders, thumbs brushing fleetingly over the veins of his neck. Natsume jumped at the sensation, breaking the kiss and leaning his forehead against the </span>
  <em>
    <span>youkai</span>
  </em>
  <span>’s. Taking a deep breath in, he took Bem’s shirt off in one swift move and grabbed his bare waist in a strong grasp. Bem hissed and stumbled backwards until he hit the table and he propped himself up against it. Natsume pressed his body over his, hands sliding up his sides, breaths mingling in hurried gasps. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Natsume bit softly at Bem’s chin, lips sliding down his throat, breath hovering over collar bones before he began placing slow, open mouthed kisses along the center of his chest. As his mouth traveled lower along the quivering stomach, he let himself fall on his knees, fingers hooking in the waistband of his pants. He noticed white knuckles grabbing the table with all of their force, and he let his eyes travel up the pale arms, to the hungry face looking down at him, white teeth biting down the lower lip. Silver strands brushing broad shoulders, chest rising and falling, skin glistening with every trace left by his lips. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Their eyes were locked into a mutual urge, both of them daring the other to take it further. Natsume took the clothed bulge into his mouth, causing Bem’s back to arch over the table. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Natsume-san,” he growled as Natsume’s hands joined his mouth, opening and closing over the swelling, and Bem buried his fingers at the back of the detective’s head. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Natsume pulled away and gave Bem one final look before yanking the pants to his knees, slithering them slowly to his ankles. He looked up at strong, tense thighs joined by a narrow waist, stomach dipping with arousal. He was hard, and the detective unconsciously moved his hips in a short thrust. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Natsume slid hot, damp palms up Bem’s thighs. “I have never done anything like this before.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Neither have I,” Bem replied between pants, a small smile playing over his lips, “but as long as it’s Natsume-san, that is enough.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Natsume huffed a shaky breath and bit at Bem’s thigh as his hands reached up and grabbed his hips. Kisses traveled up until he took the soft sack into his mouth, lips pulling lightly at the skin. He closed his eyes and nuzzled against him, breathing in and wrapping a hand around the base. He began stroking languidly, encouraged by the </span>
  <em>
    <span>youkai</span>
  </em>
  <span>’s slight jerks forward. Tentative licks at the tip were timed with each tug of his hand. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not sure what I’m feeling,” Bem let out with a hasty voice, “all I know is that I don’t want it to stop.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Natsume rose up to his feet and nuzzled his nose against the </span>
  <em>
    <span>youkai’</span>
  </em>
  <span>s, arms going around the small waist. He felt Bem’s bare body fall against his clothed one, and he let a moan escape his lips at the feeling. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“My clothes are starting to stick to my skin,” he laughed softly, and Bem smiled. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Natsume looked at him tentatively. “Do you want to do anything about it?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Is that ok?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t want to waste one more minute without feeling your skin against mine.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Bem’s smile disappeared as he let his eyes drop to the detective’s lips, hands wandering up his torso until prodding fingers began to brush over the buttons of his shirt, opening them one by one.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Please touch me,” Natsume pleaded, and Bem felt encouraged to drop his shirt over the shoulders, palms reaching timidly for the freshly exposed skin. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>As his fingers traveled down towards the detective’s belt, Bem buried his face behind his ear, still uneasy about being given the initiative. He felt Natsume’s hand grabbing the hair at the back of his head, a slight thrust of the hips urging him to continue. With the rest of the fabric out of the way, Natsume stepped out of his pants and cupped Bem’s face, pressing bare body over bare body, hips pushing lazily against each other. Natsume initiated another slow kiss, tongue probing gently over the </span>
  <em>
    <span>youkai</span>
  </em>
  <span>’s lips until it slipped past his teeth. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Come with me,” the detective whispered into Bem’s mouth, glowing eyes beckoning towards the narrow, disheveled bed. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Bem lied down first, silver hair fanning out over the pillow, arms bent up and hands touching faintly just above his head. Natsume stood next to the bed, gaze taking in the light blue gleam that enveloped the </span>
  <em>
    <span>youkai</span>
  </em>
  <span>’s body, sharp cheekbones framed by shadows, parted lips barely controlling shallow breath. Bem bent his leg, knee brushing over Natsume’s just barely; Natsume gasped and ran a palm down the inside of the </span>
  <em>
    <span>youkai</span>
  </em>
  <span>’s thigh, causing him to arch his back on the bed. He finally kneeled down between his legs, body sliding up to take a nipple into his mouth. He heard a sharp hiss and felt Bem’s arousal push up into his stomach, the heat drawing an unbridled moan out of both of their mouths. Natsume’s lips moved towards Bem’s collarbones, sucking into the hollow of his neck, tongue fluttering mildly over his chin until they were face to face once again, breathing into each other and joining their heaving chests together. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“This is embarrassing to admit,” Natsume whispered, his lips ghosting over Bem’s as he spoke, “but I’m really nervous about this.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Bem tensed slightly and widened his eyes. “Should we stop?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What? No! Absolutely not. I’ve been waiting for this… imagining this… for too long.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Bem’s lips curled into a relieved, shy smile. “Me too… for longer than you have.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Natsume released the breath he was holding and cupped the </span>
  <em>
    <span>youkai</span>
  </em>
  <span>’s cheek with a contended laugh, legs tangling together. “It’s just that I’m afraid of embarrassing myself,” he admitted, thumb drawing shapes around Bem’s lips. “I haven’t done anything like this and I want to be perfect for you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Natsume-san,” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I want to be perfect because </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>are perfect and - I don’t know what I did to deserve you but -”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Natsume-san,” Bem repeated, sternly. This time, he was the one to initiate a kiss, taking the detective by surprise with its firmness. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Natsume grabbed onto his hips, fingers digging into the skin as if loosening their grip would cause the </span>
  <em>
    <span>youkai</span>
  </em>
  <span> to disappear from under his weight.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t want to hurt you,” he murmured, voice coarse as if the kiss had consummated all of his energy. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You can’t,” Bem whispered, “you’re here with me. That’s all I need to be strong.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you, Bem.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Natsume hadn’t even thought of voicing his feelings in such a way, but having Bem so close to him for the first time after years of quelling the thoughts that he considered inappropriate, slowly embracing them and giving up on running from the truth, he felt as though he had finally given himself the permission to be overwhelmed with contentment. He slipped out of Bem’s arms and brushed down his body, fleeting kisses leaving a moist trail from chest to navel, and Bem spread his legs to accommodate him. He gave a slight jolt as Natsume’s fingers scratched lightly at his thighs, taking him into his mouth and flicking his tongue over the tip. Bem straightened his back and lifted tense arms to grab onto the headboard as Natsume moved further down and pressed an open mouthed kiss against his entrance. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Natsume-san,” he hissed, but the detective merely slipped a finger in, eyes rising to meet his own. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are there any barriers left between us for you to keep calling me that?” he asked, a playful smile lighting up his features. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Natsume,” Bem reiterated breathlessly, “I don’t know how I may react. I usually am unable to handle any intense emotions and -”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Bem,” the detective interrupted and pressed a light kiss to his thigh, “even if you switch forms, I won’t mind. I will still love you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Bem stayed quiet, but his chest was rising and falling, expanding and contracting like autumn leaves against the breeze, a teardrop slipping past the corner of his eye, falling and nestling between silver hair strands. Natsume crawled up his body and captured his lips, swallowing Bem’s gasp as his fingers kept moving in and out, slipping deeper with each thrust, until he started feeling Bem’s hips moving to meet him halfway. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Natsume supported his weight on his knees and lined himself up, pressing a reassuring kiss against Bem’s forehead, mouth moving to caress the harsher surface of both horns. Bem closed his eyes and buried his fingers into the detective’s damp hair, nails pulling lightly at the skin. Natsume pushed in slowly and both of them made a choked sound at the heat and tightness. They stayed that way for a little while, Natsume’s nose nuzzling into Bem’s soft, warm cheek, before the detective began rolling his hips slowly. They fell into a steady rhythm, Natsume feeling Bem’s feet brushing over the back of his thighs, toes curling and making his skin tingle at the sensation. There was a familiar knot twisting and turning at the base of his stomach and he grunted, hips speeding up in their movement. Bem let out a sudden moan and threw his head back, causing Natsume to chase after his lips and envelop them into a sloppy, wet kiss. Tongues met and teeth scraped and tugged at flesh, moans becoming louder until they couldn’t hear them over the blood pumping into their ears. Bem slipped a hand down his body, fingers curling around himself, wrist attempting to keep up with the speed of the thrusting. Natsume propped himself on his hands, the image of Bem stroking himself sending chills down his spine and he dropped his forehead against Bem’s, damp bangs sticking to his skin. He could tell Bem was very close, so he sped up and slid an arm under Bem’s waist as he arched his back and spilled over his palm with a sharp grunt. Natsume groaned and dug his teeth into the side of Bem’s neck, thrusting fast and strong until he stilled, buried deep inside. The waves were so intense and overpowering, that his knees gave out under him and he ended up dropping and covering Bem’s body with his own, head buried into the side of his head, lips grazing over Bem’s ear lobe. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Natsume’s body was buzzing, nerve endings sensitive and tingling in aftershocks, every slight brush over Bem’s skin sending shivers down his limbs. He felt the </span>
  <em>
    <span>youkai</span>
  </em>
  <span>’s arms enveloping him, fingertips drawing shapes on the surface of his back, and Natsume thought this was the safest he'd ever felt in his life. His muscles began to relax and he closed his eyes, his senses focusing on the feeling of Bem's body in the tight hold, listening to the slowing rhythm of his breathing. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I didn’t switch.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Bem’s low, guttural voice woke Natsume from a comfortable state of semi consciousness, and he raised his head to look into his eyes. Bem was watching him back, a delighted glint lighting up his features. Natsume let out an elated laugh and brought his hand up to trace the sharpness of Bem’s jaw. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“This is the most human I’ve ever felt,” he added, voice shaking with gathering tears, and Natsume silenced his sob with his mouth, gentle lips caressing and spreading warmth. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A jittery knot clenched and pulled at Natsume’s chest, flashes of a life without Bem passing before his eyes, and he tightened his hold on the </span>
  <em>
    <span>youkai</span>
  </em>
  <span>, not wanting to let go of him again. Sensing the change in the detective’s body language, Bem cupped the back of his head and sealed his lips against his forehead, warm breath tickling at the skin. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t let go of me,” Natsume’s voice came out whinier than he intended, but he felt Bem’s lips stretching into a bittersweet smile. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t be afraid,” Bem’s voice was warm and reassuring, yet it only filled Natsume with longing and hopelessness. “You will never be alone. Rest now, and I will guard your sleep.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Natsume squeezed his eyes shut and nuzzled his face in the hollow of Bem’s neck, lungs expanding and attempting to fill in with the smell of his body. His fingers intertwined with long, soft strands of hair, and he pressed his ear to Bem’s chest, steady heart beats lulling him into a dreamless sleep. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When he woke up, the room was steadily lighting up in a hazy, early morning glow, and Bem was standing next to the table, fingers tying his scarf in a loose knot. As he reached for his hat, Natsume sat up in a frenzy, throwing the covers off him and standing to press Bem’s back to his chest, arms coming around in a tight grasp. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Bem smiled and covered the detective’s hands with his own. “I intended to wake you up before I left, but you beat me to it.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Stay,” Natsume replied decidedly, face pressed into the back of Bem’s head. The </span>
  <em>
    <span>youkai</span>
  </em>
  <span>’s hair was tied back again, and the detective missed the feel of it under his fingers. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Bem turned around in his arms, hands coming up to cup his face in a warm clasp, lips pressing against his. Natsume took a deep breath in and deepened the kiss, hands taking fistfuls of Bem’s shirt. The </span>
  <em>
    <span>youkai</span>
  </em>
  <span> was the first to break the kiss, thumb caressing the detective’s bottom lip. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You know I can’t,” he whispered, eyebrows curling into a consoling frown. “But I promise that I will come back to you, and I will watch you from afar. Nothing and no one will cause you any harm as long as you are under my protection.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Natsume looked up, hopeful eyes searching into Bem’s earnest gaze. “You promise? That you will come back to me?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Bem’s lips disappeared under his teeth as a fleeting grin bedecked his face. “I promise.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Because if you don’t, I will - I will look for you everywhere, and I will find you, and I will be unforgiving.” Natsume’s words stumbled out of his mouth clumsily, and Bem huffed an amused laugh. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t want that,” he assured the detective, making him smile. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They took a long look at each other, neither willing to let go just yet. But the night they had shared was real, and it was  becoming a memory that would never be dissolved. Bem brought his hands to the knot of his scarf, undoing it and unwrapping it from around his neck. He spread the garment over Natsume’s shoulders, hands smoothing the fabric over his skin. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t want to catch a cold,” Bem smirked at the curious look on the detective’s face. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll put clothes on, but -”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Keep the scarf somewhere safe. I will come back for it later.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Natsume grazed his fingers over the item, lips spreading into a wide grin. “Understood.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Bem leaned in and pressed a final, firm kiss against Natsume’s lips before grabbing his hat and placing it on his head. “Until next time,” he murmured, backing towards the doors of the balcony.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Natsume bit his lower lip, eyes roaming over the </span>
  <em>
    <span>youkai</span>
  </em>
  <span>’s silhouette and taking him in before he disappeared. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Until next time.” </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Title and story inspired by the songs “Night Air” and “Shoulda” by Jamie Woon</p></blockquote></div></div>
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